Could It Be…?


Check out Newsweek, June 8th, 2009 edition. Talk show hostess Oprah is on the cover; article about her on page 54. The slant? Crazy talk with Opie, taking her to task for promoting wacky cures. (Online version here.)

For example, 62-year-old actress Suzanne Somers was on the Oprah show one time, talking up estrogen products: cream on her arms, a shot into her vagina. She also swallows a lot of other stuff, like 60 vitamins and other preparations daily.

Why? To stay healthy and live long. The goal: to see her 110th birthday.

So let’s say that Suzanne does live to see one century plus a decade. That would really p.o. the skeptics. But if she makes that goal, what could be the explanation? Among the possibilities:

1.] She was born with good genes, had access to good traditional health care, and all the extra “wacky” stuff didn’t make that much difference.

2.] Her genes were average but the “wacky” additions were very beneficial.

3. ] Good genes, health care and the wackiness worked together to allow her to live to be 110.

But could there be another explanation?

How about a transdimensional prankster who bestows a bit of magic that trumps science? The Chaos Purple Elephant who likes to thumb the collective nose of skeptics. Invisible, intangible, he’s beyond the reach of science. Beyond disproof.

Hey, just as sensible as a syringe of estrogen injected into a vagina.

Psychics Fulfill Needs


She (they’re usually female) sits at a table in one corner at a coffeehouse. Or maybe she has a booth or kiosk set up at in outdoor pedestrian mall. She speaks confidentially with the attentive person sitting across from her, providing to that individual what can’t be found with a clergyman, counselor, psychiatrist or even friends.

Answers.

That’s why psychics have cornered a good share of the human needs market.

I’m skeptical about psychics when it comes to their claims of “auras” and “spirits” and “karma” or whatever new age stuff they believe in. But I’m also skeptical of some parts of traditional medicine and psychotherapy. Mainstream health services have their own share of BS.

When the professional experts fail, those seeking help might end up trying a psychic reading, another form of counseling or psychotherapy from what I’ve seen.

Science and medicine can be like priesthoods with secrets and mystery. Take a look at the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Instead of terms like “auras” and “chakra” the DSM has occult words like “bi-polar” and “schizotypal personality disorder.” But therapists and medical practitioners are usually aloof priests hiding behind a wall of professionalism. The human element is ignored.

That’s why psychics attract so many people. They provide their own explanations but in a personal setting. They don’t treat their clients like children who don’t know better, the major difference between a psychic reading and a doctor’s appointment.

A doctor or therapist can rattle off some technical mumbo-jumbo – which can be proven – but he has to compete with a psychic offering easier to understand (but unproven) mumbo-jumbo. Also, mainstream practitioners can’t provide a reason why something happens beyond a simple bio-chemical explanation. The cancer has metastasized but why did it spread after treatment? The doctor shrugs his shoulders, basically saying that’s how it goes sometimes.

But the psychic can provide explanations like karma or auras out of tune with nature. Both she and mainstream healers try to make sense out of the daunting universe but the traditional experts fail to make the unknown less unknown, less controllable. Sympathetic to a client’s problem, a psychic can offer a bit of hope like working on interpersonal relations to improve karma or getting the aura back to its proper color.

And if that fails?

Well, there’s the promise that the spirit lives on, that you can be reincarnated.

How can any doctor or therapist compete with that claim?

Faith beats facts.

Anomalous Phenomena: The Para-Pachydermic Explanation


“Get your umbrella ready,” said the TV weatherman. “Lots of rain tomorrow.”

The next day considerable precipitation fell but not rain. Six inches of snow in the city, twelve inches up in the mountains.

Obviously weather forecasting isn’t an exact science. Despite all the data gathered, there could be a tiny bug in the system that throws off the prediction.

The chaos butterfly. An analogy that shows how an unknown element or X factor can make the weatherman look like an idiot.

Two months before the weatherman predicted rain, a butterfly in China flapped its wings a couple of extra times. This pushed additional air molecules along, a small action that kept building as the days passed, until it turned into a cold air mass that unexpectedly shifted, turning rain into snow.

Science itself isn’t an exact science. But there are those who act like it is, resulting in dogma that doesn’t allow any thinking beyond what it considered “normal.”

But UFO sightings and other strange events still happen. Yes, some can be explained as delusion, misidentification, fraud, whatever. But a few puzzling cases remain that can’t be conveniently swept under the scientific carpet.

If there’s the chaos butterfly, why not something analogous on a metaphysical level? Why not the chaos purple elephant? It exists outside of quotidian experience but sometimes it stumbles, protruding into our sphere of reality. Normalcy twists; weird stuff happens. But soon the chaos purple elephant is forced back into its own dimension.

Maybe the para-dimensional pachyderm sticks its trunk under the tent of perception. An UFO is seen. Or its foot stomps in to make an impression. A cyptoid is glimpsed. Or its tail brushes against the membrane of our existence. Ghosts pop into view.

After these seemingly unrelated events, three blind experts come along. The first makes his conclusion based upon the trunk incident. The second, the foot. The third, the tail. All three are wrong because each explanation is only based on part of the paranormal whole.

Of course, the blindest of the blind are the dogmatic skeptics. Trunk, foot, and tail – all nonsense to them, nothing extraordinary to be seen here, move along.

Maybe someday they’ll have to shovel up after the chaos purple elephant.

Until then, the circus goes on.

CSI: Crime Sand Investigation



A nonfiction book about sand?

Surprisingly, it’s very interesting.

Sand: The Never Ending Story proves that there is indeed a world of knowledge in a grain of the stuff.

The author, Michael Welland, covers the topic not only on this world but beyond, to Mars and one of Saturn’s moons, Titan. But what intrigued me the most was geological forensics, how the properties of a particular sand can be used to determine its origin point, valuable evidence in a criminal investigation.

One case involved $3 million worth of gold that turned up missing while being shipped. It was discovered after opening the crates that ordinary sand and iron bars had been switched with the gold. It was suspected that the substitution had been made in Canada but a forensic geologist and policeman determined that the sand originated in another country.

Another example of sand forensics involved a pickup truck driven by the murderer. Mud splashed on the truck contained tiny debris from a quarry. This debris washed downstream in a river, diluting as it traveled along, blending in with other sand and mud. When the river was low the quarry sand would end up in sandbanks along the rivers’ edge. Sandbanks further downstream had fewer of the distinctive grains; each location had its own mixture. Sand from the crime scene matched what was found on the pickup.

Welland also mentions that during World War II that balloons carrying incendiary bombs were falling on the United States (the fugo balloons which I posted about before). From where were they being launched?

The balloons used ballast bags filled with sand to maintain height as part of an automatic altitude regulation system. Hydrogen or sand would be released as the balloon drifted towards the US.

The US Geological Survey’s Military Geology Unit was called in to ID the origin point of the sand. Using prewar geological reports the granular investigators were able to determine two locations on the east coast of Japan. Air photographs helped to target hydrogen factories at those sites for destruction.

Chris Carter Goes Green


The creator of The X-Files, Chris Carter, is green.

No, he wasn’t hit by gamma rays and turned into The Hulk – even though that would more entertaining than his last X-Files film, I Want To Believe.

I borrowed a DVD of XF: IWTB. After being disappointed by the main feature I checked out the so-called “special” features that included a short about how Chris went green during the production of his movie.

[Note to historians decades hence: “Green” refers to a fad popular at this time to save the earth from mankind’s impact by using less energy, eating local “organic” foods, and acting like a fanatic over ecology and the environment due to concerns about global warming. While commendable, this fad is out of hand in that some people are joining in because it’s the “cool thing” to do. A present-day individual doesn’t fit in unless he’s absolutely committed to being “green.” Green statements uttered without question act as a shibboleth to hip conformity. Like any fad –-wearing a zoot suit or twirling a Hula-Hoop – it will fade into the background, replaced by another “cool thing.”]

During the featurette Chris repeatedly mentions how a certain car company (that I’m not going to plug) provided hybrid cars for the stars and crew. This saved on gas and resulted in less pollution. Also catering was done using locally grown food.

Right after Chris Carter: Statements on Green Production, there was another featurette entitled Body Parts: Special Makeup Effects. The movie plot involved head transplants (think Grade Z sci fi thriller like The Brain That Wouldn’t Die) and so with the human chop-shop motif various bodies and their parts had to be fabricated out of plastic.

But if I may make a modest proposal like Jonathan Swift, why didn’t the movie production go organic and use real human bodies and parts? After all, unlike silicone, human flesh is biodegradable.

And with a creative chef, they could’ve done the ultimate in recycling with the catering service. Just use the soylent recipe.

(Sorry. Am I making you “green?”)

Groovy Positive Vibes


Skeptic Rebecca Watson has been having bad luck lately. As she mentions at www.skepchick.org/blog within two weeks she was hit by a car and then her apartment was burgled, her laptop computer stolen.

But maybe it wasn’t a run of “bad luck.”

Rebecca should watch “The Secret,” a documentary about how to attract good things in their life. People radiate vibrations out into the universe. The movie shows someone wishing for something and all those thoughtwaves just spread out into forever.

In fact “The Secret” states that the universe can be your catalog. Just list what you want, think good thoughts, and it will come your way. The Supreme Being/Grandest Poohbah/whatever will listen to you. It’s New Age wishful thinking without equal.

If all the skeptics like Rebecca keep thinking bad thoughts, radiating negativity into the cosmos, they could end up bringing down an alien invasion force or blowing up the sun.

The Unimal


The ancient Greeks could really come up with some wild beasties when they unleashed their imaginations. For example, the manticore: a mythical monster sometimes depicted with a man’s face, a lion’s body, a dragon’s legs, and a scorpion’s tail.

But that combo critter can’t match the unimal.



I just watched a documentary called Farmboy about the life of H.E. Babcock, a professor of farm marketing who later became Chairman of the Board at Cornell University in the 1940s. During his lifetime he promoted nutrition standards. To symbolize animal agriculture the unimal was created, five basic farm animals in one: chicken, cow, steer, pig and sheep. This cobbled-together imaginary beast had the key aspects of each animal, from the rooster’s red comb on its head to the curly pigtail on its butt. The front legs were those of a cow; the rear ones of a chicken. Toss in a pair of wings and udders and you had a unimal.

Babcock had a plastic unimal toy on the market to promote a healthy, well-balanced diet to children. Designed by Karl Butler, you would press down on it and a tiny hotdog would drop out. Keep pressing and other farm products would appear: a quart of milk, a ham, a pound of butter, and an egg.



With the concern nowadays about cholesterol, red meat and fat, I don’t think the items produced by the unimal would be considered proper nutrition.

Maybe it’s time for an update: I propose the univegimal. With genetic engineering this critter would be part lettuce and tomato combined with the five farm animals. Just press down on the new toy version and a tossed salad pops out with all the other agricultural products.

Images from the documentary Farmboy.

(Note: Unimal buttons and T-shirts are available at cafepress.com)